Mitch Brown was thrust into the spotlight after coming out. He wants to use it to 'call people in,' not out

Last week, former West Coast Eagles defender Mitch Brown and his partner, Lou Keck, posted a statement on social media responding to an onslaught of hate they had been on the receiving end of, including death threats.

Just over a month prior, Brown was thrust into the spotlight when he came out as the first openly bisexual man in AFL history. It was a moment that transcended the Australian sporting community, particularly amongst young people.

In the five weeks that followed, the 36-year-old became somewhat of an unofficial spokesperson for queer issues within the AFL community.

While Brown said the experience has been overwhelmingly positive for the most part, there have been times it has been exhausting and lonely.

He made national headlines in late September after he posted to his Instagram stories that "any form of homophobia" was "loser behaviour" while referencing Geelong player Bailey Smith's social media captions during the club's Mad Monday celebrations. This sparked a mountain of pushback.

With his close to 10 years of experience within the AFL, including being at costume parties where gay jokes were casually thrown around, he wanted to continue the conversation about the wider impact of those quips and gags.

His intentions, he said, were always about "calling people in" rather than "calling people out".

"I'm not shying away from my own imperfections. I make mistakes," Brown said on The Footy with Broden Kelly podcast.

"I grew up in hyper-masculine environments, where I lied to myself and buried my true identity or denied it, and then, with that, became my own homophobia, and I participated in that. And I'm not shying away from that.

"For those that have dropped into our DMs and gone and challenged us, we also haven't shied away from engaging in those conversations, as long as it's respectful.

"(It's) for us to learn as well … even now, as a bisexual man, you know, I don't speak for the entire queer community. I speak for my own lived experience, and that's it."

Keck added it was disappointing the way the discourse unfolded, where "so much of it centred on whether casual homophobic language is or isn't offensive".

"I think we're missing the point when we debate that. The more important question is why this kind of language is still used so often, and what we can do to shift our culture that allows it to feel acceptable," Keck told ABC Sport.

With a lot of opportunities to speak after coming out, Brown said he and Keck wanted to make a point to keep things "really positive and strength-based," but it got to the point where they felt the homophobia and queerphobia needed to be addressed.

"It has been so good, but then there's also a lot of hate … it's not only just targeted homophobia at me. It's people questioning our relationship," he said, noting that the flip side of applause and appreciation in coming out is one of toxicity.

Four years ago, Adelaide United defender Josh Cavallo became Australia's first openly gay men's A-League player in a moment that was widely celebrated and congratulated. However, this year, he revealed there was a level of toxicity on social media he was not prepared for, and still to this day faces multiple death threats since coming out.

While the 25-year-old A-League player said coming out publicly was "the best move and decision" for him, there were also "mountains of downside" that many did not realise.

Similarly, Adelaide 36ers star Isaac Humphries made global headlines in 2022 when he became the first openly gay professional basketball player in Australia's NBL. Yet last year, he was reportedly the target of homophobic slurs from opposition fans during a game.

Brown and Keck are cautious about what they choose to say, knowing that while sharing their experience is vastly a positive experience, it can also spark hate from some corners. That is then public for the queer community to see and feel othered by.

"It does bring up the negative sides and the homophobia and the queerphobia, and I know and understand that then becomes more visible and headline-grabbing for some media outlets," Brown said.

"And that can be, you know, traumatising or triggering for individuals in the queer community. So we (he and Keck) recognise that as well."

Marnie Vinall is a co-host on The Footy with Broden Kelly podcast.